The ups and downs of waiting for a baby
I’ve done everything right. I know my cycle back to front. I’ve followed my ovulation calendar, tested my saliva and temperature, had acupuncture and taken my folate tablets. So, I might be pregnant, or I might not…
I Might be Pregnant
I tell myself not to think about it. I might be pregnant, but I might not be pregnant. So, there’s nothing to think about. Nothing to talk about. Nothing I can do about it. My life is on hold for two weeks. I’m on stand-by. When something ‘could’ happen, nothing happens.
My every waking moment is consumed with thinking ‘what if’? So, decisions can’t be made, because I might be pregnant.
How can I start a new job if I want maternity leave after nine months? We can’t get a new loan, I might not be earning any money to pay it off in nine months. I’d love to join the netball team, but what if I’m pregnant and I get hit with the ball?
So I don’t do anything at all.
This could be for real this time. I could actually be pregnant. Everywhere I look I see babies and pregnant women. Maybe I have a baby growing inside me? I imagine what it’s like being one of those women. I’m locked in time. Should I buy more clothes? What if I’m pregnant? Should I look at maternity clothes? Maybe I should avoid soft cheese and deli meats, what if I’m pregnant? I better not drink alcohol. What if I’m pregnant?
Everyone else is pregnant
Friends are falling pregnant, stories on TV are suddenly all about babies and I can’t help but think everyone can fall pregnant easily except me. I start to avoid the baby section in Kmart and the nappy section in Coles.
Two weeks isn’t long, I can wait
I can go without alcohol for two weeks. It’s a small price to pay and after all, I might be pregnant. I read that raw sushi and oysters were best to steer clear of too, so I better not eat that. I really need some new pants, but I might not fit into them in a few months, so I better not buy them.
I just need to get through these next two weeks and then I won’t feel like I’m in limbo.
Do you feel like you’ve lost control of your life? I can help you start living again and move past being lost in limbo. Stop waiting and start enjoying life. Book a free 20 minute chat and find out how you can move out of the waiting phase.
